Thursday, August 24, 2006
叫我第一名
叫我第一名你说我这款人可以冲啥
你说我最好丢进垃圾车
你说我这款人可以冲啥
电影看了吃宵夜搁去唱歌
吃饱困 困饱吃
你卖想这多说到七桃我就走
有什么代志一定要计较输赢
啦...爱玩才会赢
啦...谁人倘跟我拼
啦...你问我叫啥米名
啦...叫我第一名
你说晚时倒垃圾早时堵车你说寒天太寒热天太热
你说甲意的人无甲意你啦你说人生的路那会这陡
夜的诗人：“
I never thought I would posting in the same manner as before again. But it seems that the more that I try to avoid something, the more they will come and haunt me. Well, I don't have much creativity to start with anyway.
Been feeling in the pits lately ... like nothing to look forward to. And then it's now the time to guess if I have any real chances at getting good honours ... It's then I realise that I might even have to scrape to get 3rd Class, if I ever get any. Xianz, jitao xianz. Really cannot screw up FYP liaoz.
Sigh. Think I am a victim of my 'pedigree'. Everybody says, 'you are from hwachong leh, must be very zai one, loh' and things like 'don't worry lah, you hwachong one, surely 2nd upper and above one lah.' Aiyoh ... jitao not helpful at all. I had always been a straggler, just short of being capable of pulling the school's stellar grades down. My peers are always winning this award that award, scholarships after scholarships ... sigh ... it's tough living amongst the gods unless you are one yourself.
Naturally, I am always second fiddle to someone else.
I am never the best in anything. I have never came in first in any competition sans the boliao interblock carrom, nor topped any class for any subject. I can't identify what am I good at, I still don't know if I am better in mathematics or economics. I know I suck at maths but I am not exactly tops in economics either. Whatever that I used to consider as my strength, always pale in comparision quickly. I can always think of somebody who is better than me. I can't write publishable materials, I can't take award-winning pictures, I can't play performance grade guitar, I can't seem to beat anybody at any game, I can't get the girl I like, I can't manage people, I can't lead small organisations, I can't I can't I can't.
So loser. haiz
I am seldom alone, but I feel so lonely sometimes.
Then I see young people who are their own bosses, striking out on their own and making it. Of coz some don't do as well, but I still envy their courage, their strong survival skills and their creativity. They are around my age and they have already stretched their wings and fly. I am still stuck here with no credentials and anything to be proud of under my belt.
I want to be the best in something tangible. I want to be Number #1 in something significant. I want to be an expert in whatever field I am in. I don't want to be a Jack of many trades and master of none.
Am I asking too much of myself? Am I too greedy? I feel like shit.
I don't know what to say if they ask, "What are your strengths?" during job interviews.
”
taxi taker at 10:09 PM