Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Heaven Knows
Heaven knows by Rick PriceShe's always on my mind
From the time I wake up 'til I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know
And though she's so far away
It just keeps gettin' stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Chorus: Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
My friends keep tellin' me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in kind
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so?
Heaven knows
Heaven knows
夜的诗人：“
THE song to learn for all people learning to play the guitar. Quite 'useful' hee ...
Somethings have been bothering me lately. I am starting to re-evaluate the measurements that I have taken so far. I have began to re-ponder how much do the things I used to value mean to me, and would they carry on to be the important values that I hold close to my heart? I find myself asking, 'At what price?'.
It all started with the communication module that taught resume writing. That module taught us how to emphasize our ECA acheivements to show our capabilities to handle the job we are applying for, especially when we do not have any working experience. Now, there's nothing wrong in principle with joining ECAs, or joining many ECAs for that matter. But what I want to ask myself is, what would I forgo, what would I sacrifice, and did I do them all for my resume?
Concensus with close friends agreed that a particular friend of ours will have a perfect resume. He had good records in his ECAs, near perfect academic performance, and is constantly involved in high profile projects. Above it all, he is a scholar, without any bond obligations from the scholarship board. What more can a company ask for in a job candidate? I won't be surprised if he is head hunted and gainfully employed before he graduates. So what did he gave up, that warrants a mention here? I think in his pursuit in academic and activity glories, he gave up what it meant to be human. I think he forgot the fact that things change, so do people, and nobody's perfect. He seemed to have taken perfection for granted, and everybody else is not putting in enough effort. He is the yardstick to measure up to, the personnel every company wishes to have, the man I would hate to work with.
Back to the point about the price paid for a good resume, I thought of the fact that sports and arts can florish only if a country (or a household in our context) is well to do. Whether or not a family is rich or not, sports and arts will still exist, but the limit of success is usually determined by the financial prowess of the family. I would think that, a well to do household, would be more capable and willing to finance the costs incurred to pursue excellence in sports or arts. Similarly, a family which does not have any financial woes, or even relationship problems, would be able to let their children to do more involved in ECAs. As the saying goes, 'There is no free lunch in this world.' Indeed, someone else has already paid, paid for the freedom from working part time while studying fulltime. I didn't realise how important this point is, because I myself have always taken this 'cost' as granted. The prospect of dropping all extra curricular activities and personal enjoyment to go work part time to defray cost of living, was sooo close to be realised. If you could pay to remove all possibilities of this prospect realising, how much would that perfect resume cost then?
Of course, life's journey does not stop at getting yourself the first job.
It was meant to be a joke at first, somehow, it echoed a fear in my heart. I was having 'home-cooked' dinner by ‘灶神’ at his gf's hostel room. After dinner we watched TV together. I forgot what sparked off this conversation about what sort of lifestyle we wanted to live. A laidback attitude? A yuppie? A corporate high flyer? I wanted to be one that has a laidback attitude to life. A life that valued freedom, plenty of family time and personal fulfillment. And I joked that, I was afraid that my future mother-in-law would despise and look down on me. Because a laidback chap would have no place in the management, then he would also not able to afford a bigger house, a car, or treat the in-laws at a posh restaurant like her siblings' husbands could. Then it struck me that it might really be true. What if one day my mother-in-law say things like she regretted marrying her daughter to a bum?? Or things like this son-in-law of hers is so unambitious. Worse still, during the Chinese New Year, I have to chauffeur her to the relatives' place and then she complains that my mode of transport is so squeezy! Kanna looked down, compared, and then kanna complained! Sigh ... is Singapore too status concioused, or is it that I think too much?
Well, I still can go be the Type-A, 'go-getter' types; grabbing every opportunity to work, doing everything that pleases my superiors, chasing the next paper qualification that I qualify to take. But at what expense? At whose expense? What would I have sacrificied to gain all that? I would definitely lose precious and valuable family time. Maybe ... weight also? haa. My dreams to travel around the world while I am still young and able? What else? My health? Relationship with friends? And so far, I have only factored costs that I would incur. I have not yet considered the invisible costs it would incur on others. I would probably lose myself in this relentless chase. If I am not exactly a rodent, why should I take part in the rat race? Yet, I do not want to be paid peanuts; I am not a monkey!
In short, I am confused about what life is asking of me, and what I want out of it. I know there's a divine answer for it. I still know where to start to look for it. Heaven knows.
”
taxi taker at 10:33 PM